Being Pressured Into Abortion by Boyfriends and Parents
Everyone’s Pushing Me To Have An Abortion
- My mom says I’m having an abortion, that I’m a minor and have no say in this.
- My parents say they’ll kick me out of the house unless I have this abortion.
- If I don’t have an abortion, my dad says he’ll put my boyfriend in jail because I’m only 15 and he’s 17.
- Everyone says I’ll never finish school unless I have an abortion.
- My boyfriend says this will ruin his life, that he’ll leave me unless I abort my baby.
Your Rights in the Abortion Decision
Let’s Get Some Abortion Facts Straight One At A Time!
Abortion Fact #1
No matter what your age… this is your body, your baby, your life, and your choice. NO ONE can force a minor to have an abortion. That’s against the law and would be child abuse! And no doctor can perform an abortion on you without your signature. No one can sign for you.
Abortion Fact #2
First of all, in the US parents are legally and financially responsible for their children under the age of 18. Consequently, parents can’t just randomly kick their minor children out of their home. Depending upon the state, they would be charged with child neglect or endangerment and the State Department of Child Services would be all over them.
Parents often want to get rid of their daughter’s pregnancy because they’d be embarrassed for everyone to find out… “what would the neighbors say.” Well, what would the neighbors say if they put their pregnant daughter out on the street and were charged with child endangerment!
If you are over 18 there are other places you can go for housing and care throughout your pregnancy.
Abortion Fact #3
The age of consent for having sex varies in each state, but generally unless you are a very young minor and your boyfriend is a much older man, your father may be making angry statements which are not based on law. Oftentimes people assume, for example, that an 18-year-old boyfriend having sex with his 15-year-old girlfriend can be charged with statutory rape. Not necessarily so.
Abortion Fact #4
You CAN finish school while being a teen parent. That’s why school systems have teen parenting programs. They want you to finish school. You and your baby will be better off in the future if you do finish school. School programs even provide parenting classes and daycare as part of their curriculum. As you will see from the parenting stories in the Pregnancy section, many girls feel much more determined to finish school and go to college because they want a good future for their baby.
Abortion Fact #5
This pregnancy is not about him, even though he’s the father. It’s about you and your baby. A little baby has never ruined any father’s life; and if he makes you choose between him and your child, he’s not worth choosing, as he doesn’t care about either one of you…
All you have to do is read the abortion stories section below to see that almost all guys left after the abortion anyway.
After you get over the shock of finding out you’re pregnant, the next step is naturally to go to your boyfriend and then your parents to give them the news. Generally you are expecting support from your boyfriend and disappointment/anger from your parents. However, it can be a huge shock if they react so angrily that they start pushing you into an abortion to solve everyone’s problems.
Pregnancy Help for You
Remember, this is a shock for your parents and boyfriend too just like it was for you, and they just want you to be “unpregnant.” That’s why you need some help from a rational, experienced, non-family source.
Optionline has helped thousands of pregnant girls with all kinds of things like dealing with your parents/boyfriend/family/friends, prenatal care, parenting classes, staying in school, daycare, material things, local assistance, looking at your options, housing, planning for the future, etc. So it doesn’t matter how young you are or how old you are, they will be there for you in dealing with your pregnancy, your baby, and your future.
Once your family is well informed and has a chance to think everything through, it is highly likely that they will come around. This is, after all, their grandchild.
When you’re young, it’s hard to stand up to the adults in your life, but it’s much easier with other adults standing with you… BESIDES, this is your life, your baby’s life, and your future. As one girl wrote in her e-mail:
Never base your decisions on the advice of people who don’t have to deal with the consequences.
This is an e-mail from a girl named Stephanie who was being pushed by her mother but stood up for her rights after she came to Teenbreaks.com:
I am now 17 years old. I got pregnant at the age of 15. My Mom tried to push me into getting an abortion. I thought about it, but I did a lot of research on the Internet. I found this website. It changed my mind and gave me the strength to stand up to my mother. If I had gotten an abortion I would have to live with that pain for the rest of my life.
I am so glad that I chose not to get an abortion. I live a guilt free life. I don’t know what I would be doing now if I had gotten an abortion. All I know is that I don’t regret keeping my son at all! He made me the wonderful person I am today!
Personal Stories from Girls Pushed Into Abortion
All I think about is my baby – Lindsay
I had an abortion close to five months ago. When I found out that I was pregnant I was four months and two weeks along. It was the hardest thing to hear the nurse say. I was dead set on having it when I heard her say that, until I talked to my boyfriend who, at first, was completely for whatever I wanted. Then he started to think about things and realized things were going to change completely. He convinced me to have the abortion, and it was the most difficult thing I could ever go through.
I still feel like a horrible person for it. All I think about is my baby and how I would be three weeks away from seeing his/her face. I wish I could go back and change things. I thought no one would find out, but somehow they did. I was the talk of the school.
I cried for long hours and did not sleep because I wanted my baby, and I wanted my boyfriend too. He didn’t want the baby, so I did it for him, but he left me the day of the abortion. So think for you and what you want. That is all that will make you happy.
After the abortion I was so depressed – D’Nia
I was 16 years old when I found out I was pregnant. I hadn’t had my period and I was so scared. I told my 15-year-old boyfriend, and he said we should get a pregnancy test. When I walked out of the bathroom I started crying, and he knew that meant I was pregnant. I did not tell my mom. I told my aunt, but my aunt told me I was going to have to tell my mom so I could get help.
When my mom finally found out I was 8 weeks pregnant. She set up an appointment for me at Hope Clinic for Women. My boyfriend and I did not want to have an abortion, but my mom refused to let me live in her home with a baby, so at the time I thought I had no other choice.
When I got to the clinic I had my ultrasound, and that is when it hit me that I was pregnant!! It was so emotional for me. After the abortion I was so depressed, and I could not believe that I killed my own flesh and blood. I asked God to forgive me and to bless me with another child in the future, and I promised to love it and care for it. It is now two years later, and I still go to sleep dreaming of what it would have been like to wake up at 4:00 AM to feed my baby, to love it, and for my baby to love me. The father and I are no longer together. I broke up with him three months after my abortion. I was depressed and angry and was taking it all out on him.
I just want my baby in my arms! – Ashlee
I was 16 when I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend who I’ve been dating for almost two years, at first we were really scared, but we were excited too and really wanted to raise our baby. I never thought abortion would come into play.
When we finally told our parents, things changed for the bad!!!!! Our moms decided that the best thing to do was to have an abortion, and I didn’t get a say! Two weeks later his mom took me to the clinic. It was the scariest thing in my life, and I regret it every day. There isn’t a day that passes when I don’t wish I would have just walked out!!!
Really think about what you’re doing and if this is really what YOU want, not everyone else!!!!! I just want my baby in my arms!!
Even now I am still searching for help and closure – Lauren
When I was 14 and a freshman in high school I was pregnant during softball season. They guy I slept with denied it at first and did not even believe me when I told him I was pregnant. Well, my boyfriend started having these crazy ideas that we were going to get married, although he was 20 and I was 14. When I was about 2 ½ months along, my boyfriend told my mom, like an idiot, although I was already showing so much that anyone could tell.
Well, when my mom found out she blew her top and told me that she was going to force me to have an abortion and it did not matter what I wanted. I did not have a say in the matter of my own child. I fought my mom for about a month, and when I was almost 4 months along she took me down to Planned Parenthood and they performed the procedure.
Even two years after the pregnancy and abortion there is never a day that goes by that I don’t think about it when I wake up in the morning. Even now I am still searching for help and closure, which I cannot find
Remember that there are people out there who can help – Jennifer
I am 20 now, but when I had my abortion I was 18. It was March 31. I will never forget that day. I had no choice… well, it felt that way at the time. I was living with my boyfriend’s parents, and his whole family treated me like crap. They put me down and told me I was ruining so many lives. I was told I would have to have an abortion or I would be put out on the street, and I had no family to go to.
I regret it to this day. I just want you ladies to know that this has to be your decision. No one can make this for you. Also remember there are people out there who can help. I only wish I had known that.
Teen Forced To Abort At 22 Weeks Tells Her Baby “I’m sorry you had to endure that pain.”
I was 15 years old when I became pregnant I had been with the guy for only 7 months. I was in so much denial, that I kept it to myself, the baby’s father and lastly I told my sister, which is how my Mother found out. The first thing my mom said was we are going down town to the clinic Monday morning. I had no say so about my baby. It hurt me so much and the father he was so against me getting an abortion. I was 22 weeks when I went down there I wish I could have waited a little longer and I would not have been able to get the abortion done. It hurts and kills me every day to know I was forced to have my first-born killed. RIP BABY IM SORRY YOU HAD TO ENDURE THAT PAIN. YOU DID’NT ASK FOR THAT NOR DESERVE IT.