Pushing To Abort
Everyone's Pushing Me To Have An Abortion
1.My mom says I'm having an abortion, that I'm a minor and have no say in this.
2.My parents say they'll kick me out of the house unless I have this abortion.
3.If I don't have an abortion, my dad says he'll put my boyfriend in jail because I'm only 15 and he's 17.
4.Everyone says I'll never finish school unless I have an abortion.
5.My boyfriend says this will ruin his life, that he'll leave me unless I abort my baby.
Let's Get Some Facts Straight One At A Time!
1. No matter what your age... this is your body, your baby, your life, and your choice. NO ONE can force a minor to have an abortion. That's against the law and would be child abuse! And no doctor can perform an abortion on you without your signature. No one can sign for you.
2. First of all, in the US parents are legally and financially responsible for their children under the age of 18. Consequently, parents can't just randomly kick their minor children out of their home. Depending upon the state, they would be charged with child neglect or endangerment and the State Department of Child Services would be all over them.
Parents often want to get rid of their daughter's pregnancy because they'd be embarrassed for everyone to find out... "what would the neighbors say." Well, what would the neighbors say if they put their pregnant daughter out on the street and were charged with child endangerment!
If you are over 18 there are other places you can go for housing and care throughout your pregnancy. You can call Optionline at 1-800-712-HELP for information in your area.
3.The age of consent for having sex varies in each state, but generally unless you are a very young minor and your boyfriend is a much older man, your father may be making angry statements which are not based on law. Oftentimes people assume, for example, that an 18-year-old boyfriend having sex with his 15-year-old girlfriend can be charged with statutory rape. Not necessarily so. Getting help from Optionline at 1-800-712-HELP can also answer questions like this about the laws in your own state.
4. You CAN finish school while being a teen parent. That's why school systems have teen parenting programs. They want you to finish school. You and your baby will be better off in the future if you do finish school. School programs even provide parenting classes and daycare as part of their curriculum. As you will see from the parenting stories in the Pregnancy section, many girls feel much more determined to finish school and go to college because they want a good future for their baby.
5. This pregnancy is not about him, even though he's the father. It's about you and your baby. A little baby has never ruined any father's life; and if he makes you choose between him and your child, he's not worth choosing, as he doesn't care about either one of you...
All you have to do is read the abortion stories to see that almost all guys left after the abortion anyway.
After you get over the shock of finding out you're pregnant, the next step is naturally to go to your boyfriend and then your parents to give them the news. Generally you are expecting support from your boyfriend and disappointment/anger from your parents. However, it can be a huge shock if they react so angrily that they start pushing you into an abortion to solve everyone's problems.
However, this has been a shock for them too, and they just want you to be "unpregnant." That's why you need some help from a rational, experienced, non-family source. Optionline has helped thousands of pregnant girls with all kinds of things like dealing with your parents/boyfriend/family/friends, prenatal care, parenting classes, staying in school, daycare, material things, local assistance, looking at your options, housing, planning for the future, etc. So it doesn't matter how young you are or how old you are, they will be there for you in dealing with your pregnancy, your baby, and your future.
Once your family is well informed and has a chance to think everything through, it is highly likely that they will come around. This is, after all, their grandchild.
When you're young, it's hard to stand up to the adults in your life, but it's much easier with other adults standing with you... BESIDES, this is your life, your baby's life, and your future. As one girl wrote in her e-mail:
Never base your decisions on the advice of people who don't have to
deal with the consequences.