Becoming Sexually Active
Becoming sexually active is not a door you need to go through to become an adult. It's not a "right of passage" to make you mature or a "real woman." And it's not something you just do "because everyone else is doing it," like getting your driver's license. It's a major step which has many responsibilities connected to it.
Which of these girls do you want to be right now - at this point in your life?
Tammy: Is happy, healthy, and feels good about herself.
Rebecca: Is worried and tense all the time and often feels depressed.
Tammy: Has no fear. Her period comes on time every month.
Rebecca: Is scared every time her period is late that she might be pregnant.
Tammy: Knows that her boyfriend respects her and won't pressure her to have sex.
Rebecca: Wonders if her boyfriend really cares about her or is just there for the sex.
Tammy: Is healthy and confident about her body and her own sexuality.
Rebecca: Worries about getting an STD and wonders how many partners her boyfriend had before her.
Tammy: Has a close and honest relationship with her parents and family.
Rebecca: Feels terrible about the lies she tells her parents and the sneaking around she does.
Tammy: Anticipates being married and she's not ready for having children.
Rebecca: Worries that a pregnancy might force her into a marriage or even an abortion one day.
Tammy: Looks forward to going to college and achieving her career goals.
Rebecca: Feels like she's on shaky ground and worries about how she can continue handling everything and still make it in college.
The Best Lines To Get A Girl To Have Sex:
When it comes to sex, there are standard "lines" that have been used successfully for years. If you don't want to fall for them, know what they are, recognize them for what they're meant to do, and learn some good comebacks.
Don't you love me?
Come on, everybody's doing it.
I do it with all my girlfriends.
You mean you're still a virgin? Are you just a kid?
If you get pregnant, I'll marry you.
I'm not like other guys.
I love you.
I love you so much I want you to have my baby.
What are you waiting for?
Sex isn't a big deal.
Although girls can and sometimes do lead guys on, guys are more likely to use these lines to get sex. And, sadly, many girls have fallen for them. A girl may find it hard to believe that a boy is lying when he says, seemingly with great sincerity, "I love you!"
If you're a girl, you need to know two things:
(1) If a boy puts any kind of pressure on you to go farther than you want to go, it shows he'll sacrifice your self-respect and physical safety for himself. He's interested only in getting what he wants.
(2) Many guys will lie through their teeth, say anything, and do whatever else they have to do to get sex.
Remember, if you're dating someone who is pressuring you to have sex, you're dating the wrong person.
Why Do Guys Break Up After Sex
Girls wonder why a guy often breaks up with them after they start having sex. Here's what some guys said:
Reggie: You get bored. It's like a kid with a new toy. After you've had it awhile, it gets old.
Jed: After I have sex with a girl I don't want to see her anymore.
Ivan: After we had sex she thought she owned me, so I dropped her.
Rick: Everything got too serious after sex. No more fun.
Terry: She wanted commitment, and I didn't.
Mat: She got pregnant, so I split.
How About Sexting? No Big Deal, Right?
Now consider this:
Wisconsin - A 17-year-old was charged with possessing child pornography after he posted naked pictures of his 16-year-old ex-girlfriend online.
Alabama - Authorities arrested four middle-school students for exchanging nude photos of themselves.
New York - A 16-year-old boy is now facing up to seven years in prison for forwarding a nude photo of a 15-year-old girlfriend to his friends.
Pennsylvania - Three teenage girls who allegedly sent nude or semi-nude cell phone pictures of themselves, and three male classmates in a Pennsylvania high school who received them, are charged with child pornography.
Texas - A Texas eighth-grader spent the night in a juvenile detention center after his football coach found a nude picture on his cell phone that a fellow student sent him.
Florida - One notable incident in Florida left 18-year-old Philip Alpert listed as a registered sex offender for the next 25 years after he was convicted of sending nude images of his 16-year-old girlfriend to family and friends after an argument.
CBS News legal analyst, Lisa Bloom, said of the six teens in Pennsylvania, "This is a serious felony. They could be facing many years in prison." News reports are constantly identifying legal repercussions after these indecent photos appear online, and attorneys say there are many unanswered questions about whether young people who send their own photos could face prosecution for obscenity or child pornography. Depending upon the individual state, both parties can be subject to all kinds of laws and prosecution.
Sexting photos seldom stay in only the phone they were sent to. Their distribution is often very broad... to friends, on Facebook, etc. And once the photos are out there, there's no taking them back.
Here's Syndey's story:
You hear all the stories in today's world... rape, abuse, sexting. I never thought I would be one of those girls. He was my first real boyfriend. I didn't know at the time what sexting was, that it is illegal, and it means you have no self respect. We had been dating for two weeks, and he asked for a picture. Not knowing what he meant, I sent a picture of my face. He texted me back saying me naked or of something under my shirt. Surprisingly I actually sent ten pictures to him. Then he dumped me! Girls, if your boyfriend asks you to send a picture of you naked, dump him. All he wants you for is sex. You can do better than that. I have learned, but every day I live with the guilt of the pictures. I never knew, but you can do better.