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But I'm not ready for this!!
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In spite of all this, you're girlfriend (or ex-girlfriend) is going to have a baby, so you're still going to be a father.
Now let's look at the answers to these problems:
1. No new father is really "ready." It's a whole new experience and one that can't really be learned in a book.
2. Yes, you're young, but that doesn't mean you can't learn and "grow up" to be a good dad.
3. Absolutely!!! You need to finish school. Staying in school is critical to being able to provide for your child in the future.
4. Being scared goes away as you get used to the idea of being a father and get to know your son or daughter.
5. Sometimes young dads are "blamed" for the pregnancy by the girl's parents. However, if you talk to them rationally and prove to your girlfriend that you want to support her and be a part of your child's life, they will likely come around.
6. You're not expected to have money and a job when you're young and trying to get your education. Although you can't provide financial support now, by staying in school you'll be able to in the future.
7. Whether you're "together" with your girlfriend any more or not, she is still the mother of your son or daughter and always will be; so you still need to have a friendly relationship with her for the sake of your child.
1. You could marry the mother and raise your child together. If you love each other, have been together for awhile, and are old enough, this can be a very viable option.
2. You could help to parent the child as single parents. If you love each other (or not), are young, and are still in school, there are ways to make this work to everyone's advantage. But it's important that you maintain your support of the mother and are a regular presence in your son or daughter's life. And remember, you have a legal right to know your child and participate in his/her life. |
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3. You could place the baby for adoption. You can read all about the advantages of "open" adoptions in the Adoption section of teenbreaks.com. It's a way for both you and the mother to finish growing up yourselves while still knowing your child as birth parents and also knowing that he/she is being loved and cared for.
4. You could abandon your child and the mother. This is generally called a "deadbeat dad." It's not an honorable title or choice, but it is how some dads have chosen to "father" their children. It's harmful to both mother and child and certainly isn't something to be proud of later in life.
1. Get involved with your child before birth. That's right. Begin to learn about your child throughout the pregnancy. If you go to the "Life B-4 Birth" pages in this section, you'll see that he/she can hear your voice while still in the womb! And studies have shown that a baby can even recognize the parents' voices, if heard frequently enough, after birth! You can also learn about the genetic traits he/she has already received from you and then recognize them after birth. This is not just physical features (like he's got your eyes). It's also personality traits (like he acts just like his father when he??.). Also, go to parenting classes together so you can learn the basics in baby care and talk with other young soon-to-be fathers.
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2. After birth, don't be afraid to touch, hold, talk to, feed, dress, and - yes - change your child from the beginning. In no time at all it will become second nature, and his mom will so appreciate your involvement. 3. Talk to your own mom and dad, or some other parent you admire, about parenthood. |
4. Be very, very patient, both with the baby and the mother. Those early months are very demanding and can be stressful. A good dad can relieve some of that stress.
5. Read some of the "Girls Who Parented" stories in this section and see how becoming a mom inspired them to go to college and pursue their career goals. Being a parent can be highly motivating!
6. As your child gets older you can begin to enjoy all the benefits of parenthood - the smiles, the fun, and the unconditional love. And studies have shown that a dad's presence in a child's life results in children who are more likely to achieve academically, have fewer behavior problems, and relate well with their peers and in social situations.
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Chad has been with me throughout this whole situation, and I really can't tell him how thankful I am that he's taken responsibility for this and hasn't left me. I called my boyfriend and told him my family knew and I wanted to keep the baby.
He cried. He thought his life was over, but he was still being a man about it and
was gonna be there...Now we have everyone's support like crazy, both have jobs,
are going to college, and love our beautiful little girl deeply. My baby's father says he wants to be in his child's life?My biggest fear now is
that he will let our child down. Being a child to a single mother myself, I realize
the damage that can be done when a father isn't in a child's life. I'm going to finish school, and I'm going to college. If I can get through school, I can afford to take care of my son. My grandmother helped me a lot. She taught me how to take care of the baby?
Watching my daughter and seeing her smile is the best thing in the world to me.
I wouldn't change that for anything. I was a dog, man; I'm going to be truthful with you. Then one day I realized I am
doing the same thing my father did to me; and I said, "No way!" That is not
going to happen to my kids. I want my kids to have hope for a better future. When you don't have hope, you do some stupid things with your life. I just want
to be the best father I can be for my children. |
