Consider these examples:

- is a beautiful 14-year-old girl who does well in school and has dozens of friends, yet she is secretly struggling with an eating disorder and has thought about committing suicide.

- is in his first year of college. He's popular and well liked, but he can frequently be heard criticizing his girlfriend's appearance and using negative comments to control her.

- is 15 years old, and his parents complain that he is often rude and insensitive and always seems angry; but underlying his offensive communication style are feelings of abandonment and frustration with life.

These three teens are real people, and they are struggling with the same issues that almost all teens face in their everyday lives. And just like most teens, the source of their problems can be linked to low self-esteem.

Take the test and find out.

Just answer true or false to the following questions. Remember - be honest! If you can't answer 100% true to a question, then answer false. Then check below to see your score.

1. I accept myself as I am and am happy with myself.
2. I deserve love and respect.
3. I feel valued and needed.
4. Being myself is important.
5. Other people are not better off or more fortunate than me.
6. I enjoy socializing.
7. I don't need others to tell me I have done a good job.
8. I make friends easily.
9. I can accept criticism without feeling put down.
10. I admit my mistakes openly.
11. I never hide my true feelings.
12. I always speak up for myself and put my views across.
13. I am a happy carefree person.
14. I don't worry about what others think of my views.
15. I don't need others' approval to feel good.
16. I don't feel guilty about doing or saying what I want.

Test Scores:

Give yourself one point for every true answer you gave.

15-16 points - You have a high level of self-esteem.
12-14 points - Not bad, but room for improvement.
8 - 11 points - Low self-esteem. It's holding you back.
Below 8 points - Drastically low self-esteem.

Struggle with feelings of inadequacy.

Be unable to choose stable relationship partners.

Have difficulty saying "no."

Be unable to control anger.

Struggle as a perfectionist.

Have feelings of intense jealousy.

Be unable to set and achieve realistic goals.

Depression.

Suicidal thoughts.

Drug and alcohol abuse.

Eating disorders.

Promiscuity.

Criminal activity.

Behavior problems.

Self cutting.

The good news is that self-esteem is an inner attitude, over which you have total control! You can control your self-esteem, which in turn will determine how you feel about yourself and how you act toward others.

Five easy steps to boosting your own self-esteem.

Switch to:

I'm not good enough.		I like myself just the way I am.
I'm a nobody.		I am somebody.
I hate myself.		I love myself.
I'm ugly.		I'm beautiful.
Nobody believes in me.		I believe in myself.
People push me around.		I am the master of my own destiny.

You get the picture. Make up your own list - and then apply it! You can do it! We all have the power to change how we see ourselves.

When you are surrounded by negative people who constantly put you down, your self-esteem is lowered. Get away from people like that. Instead associate with people who will accept and encourage you. As Oprah Winfrey once said, "Surround yourself with people who lift you higher!"

We all have successes, and we all have different things that we're good at. Think about your own list. Write them down and remember that you might not be good at sports, but you're good at art, or whatever. Seize your own talents and shine with them.

We all make mistakes, and we can turn every one of them into a learning experience. The important thing is to acknowledge that you have made a mistake, correct it, and learn from it. You can never be hurt by a mistake if you do these things.

What does that mean? First look at the word "responsibility." Broken down it comes out "response ability" - the ability to choose your own response.

We can't always help what happens to us - but we have total control over how we respond to that happening, and that's the key. For example, if someone hurts your feelings, you can:

Let that person have the power to make you feel bad.

Choose to feel angry and lash out at them.

Decide to be mad and never speak to them again.

Walk away feeling devastated.

Lash out at someone else because you're angry.

OR - Know you're better than that and their words can't change what you know about yourself.

You can choose any one of these responses or a dozen others, but you need to recognize which one is best for you.

Viktor Frankl was imprisoned in the death camps of Nazi Germany, where he experienced the worst of all torture, suffering, and human indignities. His parents, his brother, and his wife all died in the camps or were sent to the gas chambers. One day, naked and alone, he began to become aware of what he later called "the last of human freedoms." It was a freedom that neither his captors, nor anyone else, could ever take away. They could do what they wanted with his body, but he himself had total control over how he would allow it to affect him. He would teach himself about "response - ability" - thinking about all of the choices he had in how he responded to those indignities. Of course he could not stop the hurt to his body, but he made the choice to not allow his own character, his basic identity, to be hurt at all.

Instead, he recognized that it is the most difficult things in life that develop strong character. We always learn far more from the difficult experiences in life than we ever do when life is easy.

Frankl began to build on this thought until it grew larger and larger. He ultimately realized that he had more freedom than even his captors. They had more liberty, but he understood his own personal ability of controlling his responses. Frankl soon became an inspiration to those around him, including some of the guards. He helped them all to find freedom and dignity, even in their horrible prison existence.